To the High Places

Hello people of God! These past few months I have journeyed through some rough terrains on my way to the place the Lord has prepared for me. Rather than going off on a whole tangent, why don’t I just have you walk alongside me as l tell of His wondrous works in the form of an allegory (inspired by Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard).

“The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me walk upon mine high places.” Habakkuk 3:19

This is a story of how little Miss-Fearful follows the shepherd to the high places in hopes to be set free from all her fears.

Part One – Weeping may tarry for the night…

Little Miss-Fearful lived in a city called Self-Sufficiency and her house was nicely tucked between her aunt Anxious and her cousin Control right on Legalism Lane. She’d lived there her whole life and had grown quite close to these fearing family members. Never having enjoyed the company of aunt Anxious, because she’d always nag her about things concerning tomorrow, drilling her with questions that had nothing to do with present matters, Miss-Fearful did her best to avoid her. But it seemed she couldn’t manage to leave her house without encountering aunt Anxious. This caused her to hide away and felt it was best to have her cousin Control over in search for some company. He wasn’t much more pleasant, but Miss-Fearful found him to be quite comforting at times when she had conflict with her aunt. The two of them made a great pair and Miss-Fearful had grown fond of her cousin Control over the years.

-Call to the High Places-

Every so often, Miss-Fearful meander to the countryside to visit with the Shepherd of the field. She enjoyed him most of all, but oftentimes couldn’t manage to get past her nagging neighbors in order to escape to his field flowing with rivers of peace.

One morning, he had come to Miss-Fearful’s house to wake her before her neighbors could be of any hindrance. It had been a stormy night and she awoke to the sound of thunder. Just before dawn break, he knocked on the door with anticipation to rescue her from the Fearing Family. Hearing knocking in the distance, she tossed and turned but thought it only to be her aunt Anxious coming to press her with another one of her silly questions like “how will you ever survive this storm without the proper tools?” Miss-Fearful turned over indignant to the thought of speaking to aunt Anxious first thing in the morning. “She slept, but her heart was awake.”

The Shepherd, knowing that she would think it only to be aunt Anxious, knocked again in persistence. Miss-Fearful felt a nudge in her heart to answer, and went to the door in hopes that it wouldn’t be her pestering Fearing Family.

Finally, she opened in response to a third knock. “A sound! Her beloved is knocking.” Behind the door she heard him say “Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is wet with dew, my locks with drops of the night.” A thrill surged her whole body and she opened in abundant joy knowing he stood awaiting her.

She saw him standing there with kindness in his eyes. All within her was still for a moment as she met his gaze. He exuded a love that made her feel as if she stood the only recipient of his love in all the world. He invited her to accompany him to the mountains, and without hesitancy, she agreed to follow him wherever he may go. A pleasant grin crowded his eyes and he extended his hand towards her.

They journeyed not too far from the city of Self-Sufficiency before Miss-Fearful realized how much she missed her dear cousin Control. Terrorizing trees towered up ahead, and she could no longer see the Shepherd. A huge fear of abandonment hung right above her head, an old fear of loss gloomed in the distance, and the biggest one stood beside her, fear of love itself with roots growing in every direction. Little Miss-Fearful peered out into these woods, and with a shriek, she  cried out  “Lord, have you left me?” as she felt resistance rise up in her heart to keep going. Afraid and alone she wandered through the Fearful Forest in search of the Shepherd.

He whom my soul loveth so.

I sought-but could not find him,

And now I will rise and go.

He appeared right beside her and assured her “Though I may not be found by sight, I will never leave you, my child.” She bent down and cried at his feet, and through desperate groans, pleaded that she never be parted from him again.

And then-in the dawn I saw him,

He whom my heart loveth so.

I found him, held him and told him

I could never let him go.

She wanted nothing but to leave her Fearing Family and go to the high places with the Shepherd. But she knew only what everyone on Legalism Lane had taught: appear good enough and do what made her seem acceptable so that she could be friends with Joy and Gladness. Though she had never met them herself, she knew they lived in the Kingdom of Love and wanted to meet their acquaintance.

The Shepherd broke through the noise of her thoughts and asked her one thing: “Will you but trust me, even when you cannot see?” Looking up at him through teary eyes, she softly surrendered her will and trusted him to be faithful to take her to the mountains. In that moment, a seed of desire was planted in her heart.

She found it quite strange and mildly uncomfortable to feel the affections of the Shepherd even when she was nothing but little Miss-Fearful. This was very different from the treatment she got from her neighbors on Legalism Lane. They only seemed to accept her when she was calm and collected. Intrigued to know more of this unconditional love, she agreed to trust him.

-The Lonely Road-

Little Miss-Fearful didn’t even notice that they had seemed to walk right through the Fearful Forest and the terrorizing trees were now behind her. With a sigh of relief, she felt the nearness of her Shepherd and was at ease, though she didn’t quite know where they were headed.

Turning her glance from her Shepherd to the road up ahead, a cloud of loneliness began to encroach the open sky and the world around her began to dim. The Shepherd said he would never leave, so ‘where might he have gone?’ She thought.

Beginning to try to find her way to the high places on her own terms, she wondered some ways off the path. Not long after, she became weaker and weaker as she walked, and fell face first into the ground. Beside her were some rocks that somehow she remained uninjured from.

Stunned by the fall, the Shepherd’s promise to never leave and take her to the high places replayed in her mind. Laying with her face in the dirt, she picked up a small mustard seed and put it in her pocket to help her remember, though she may forget again. After regaining her strength, her pace quickened towards the road ahead and the seed of desire in her heart began to ache. Provoked by a deep longing, she stopped a moment to call out to the Shepherd. Within an instant, he stood tall beside her with a look of compassion that made poor little Miss-Fearful feel as though he was looking at her from the inside out. With a soft tone, he asked “My child, what is it that you desire?”

Unsure of how to respond and feeling as though he knew the answer better than herself, she said “I hoped that maybe I’d have company on the road ahead.” She looked in despair back at him, as he asked “What’s in your pocket?”

“A mustard seed.” Said little Miss-Fearful… “A mustard seed!” She exclaimed in remembrance. “You promised me company, though I may not see it.”

A sweet smile hung across his face. “Keep on and trust that I be with you, even if you can’t see me” he assured her.

Then and there, she continued her journey and found there to be a swift breeze brushing her face and suddenly she hadn’t felt so alone as she did before. Although, the pierce in her heart from the seed of desire seemed to be much more apparent.

-Valley of Loss-

Right up ahead, was the Valley of Loss, and Miss-Fearful shrunk back in hesitancy to keep on the path. The Shepherd made himself visible for another moment and reached out to hold her firmly, but tenderly, and whispered “There is a great gain through the Valley of Loss.” and he leaped and bounded for the hills. While, Miss-Fearful began to embark through the vast valley.

She started to make out some shapes and colors ahead. Rivers rushed beside her, singing a beautiful ballad of self-giving. The words were unrecognizable to Miss-Fearful. The birds danced as if the sky was their stage and anemones thrusted their faces towards the sun in excitement to receive and be sustained. The sun seemed to illuminate various wildflowers making a colorful carpet for little Miss-Afraid to walk along.

An exhale escaped from her, having noticed the world around her come to life. The Valley of Loss seemed to be beaming with abundant life, contrary to Miss-Fearful’s preconceived ideas.

A figure in the distance approached her rather swiftly. His face was rather unwholesome and he carried himself in a haughty manner. Mr. Pride had been loitering for several hours before he showed himself. He acknowledged her as an equal, which made her feel pleased with herself, so she continued to converse with him. Though, she knew it best not to get direction from those not sent from the Kingdom of Love.

Mr. Pride, knowing he had her attention, warned “Don’t you know that you have been left to shame and you will never be accepted into the Kingdom of Love?”

Knowing she was too weak to ward him off herself, Miss-Fearful knew only one thing to do: call for the Shepherd. With haste, he came and Mr. Pride fled his presence within an instant.

She requested she be taken back to before the torment began, but the Shepherd led her to a new direction entirely. It seems the mountains peered behind them and she started to feel a sense of defeat. Looking up at the Shepherd, she wondered why he stepped forward with such confidence in the wrong direction. ‘Surely he hasn’t been made aware that the high places are in the other direction.’ She thought.

Knowing her thoughts, he reminded her “My ways are higher than yours”. From then on, she kept silent, concerned she had accidentally spoken her previous thought aloud.

They made their way to a wide expanse of water. With little notice he exclaimed “Jump!” and went buoyantly into the water. Excitement and fear filled little Miss-Fearful, and she found such an exhilarating fear to be totally unfamiliar. The seed of desire pierced her, and with a running head start, she flung herself into the small ripples left from the Shepherd. Surged with joy, they began to laugh uncontrollably. It seemed as though she joined in on nature’s song. A small pull in the water tugged them downstream and she found herself to be caught in a river, where she could make out the words of the ballad of self-giving she heard earlier.

Come, oh come! Let us away-

Lower, lower every day,

Oh, what joy it is to race

Down to find the lowest place.

This the dearest law we know-

“It is happy to go low.”

Sweetest urge and sweetest will,

“Let us go down lower still.”

Hear the summons night and day

Calling us to come away.

From the heights we leap and flow

To the valleys down below.

Always answering to the call,

To the lowest place of all.

Sweetest urge and sweetest pain,

To go low and rise again.

With growing curiosity, she found a landing place among some wildflowers where thousands sang in different color notes.

This is the law by which we live-

It is so sweet to give and give.

Blanketed by the flowers beneath her, she watched birds fly overhead, singing a tiny tune with a gentle lilt.

This is the joy of all winged life above-

Happy it is to be able to love.

-Slopes of Sorrow-

Songs of self-giving swayed through her thoughts and she wondered where he might take her next. Looking for her Shepherd for direction, he simply said “This is the way, walk in it.” and she began to walk in the very direction she faced and again he spoke “Turn to the right.” Without question, she turned and kept on.

Afterall, he seemed to know the best route to the high places. However, she saw that other people were making their way towards the high places much swifter and didn’t seem to make near as many detours. He assured her that he desired to journey alongside her, and that “they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” he said patiently.

Breaking out in a song of her own she sang:

Lead me to the promise land

Here and now, I take your hand.

Expand my heart’s desire

With your love, an all-consuming fire.

I will wait

And not grow faint.

Love remains, even still

Love remains, ever will.

Pleased of Miss-Fearful’s willing heart, He called her to the mountain ahead and told her to make a sacrifice. “What material do I have to give?” she questioned. The Shepherd responded “I will provide everything you need.” and so she went.

The pain in her heart where the seed of desire was planted, had been more painful than ever before. Approaching the foot of the mountain, she stood and stared in awe. What a wonder to look at, but how would she ever climb these slopes? Her aunt Anxious’ voice ran through her mind. ‘You will surely waste your time and die.’ Thinking if she were to confide with her cousin Control in the matter, he would surely disapprove of such preposterous and dangerous behavior. Pondering this next endeavor, she stuck her hands in her pocket and felt the small mustard seed between her fingers.

A ping ran through her heart and she knew what she had to do. Looking ahead, a rope swung out in front of her, and a distant voice from the peak floated down saying something she couldn’t fully catch. The only word she could make out was “trust”, and knew that’s all that was meant to be heard. Dropping the mustard seed back into her pocket, she grabbed hold of the rope.

She found the slopes of sorrow to be rather serene. She knew at this point, there was no going back to her home in Self-Sufficiency. Leaping from ledge to ledge, she made her way to a little cavern in the rock.

This she found to be a good resting place, so she took her place wedged in between two big rocks. A gust of wind blew just outside of the cavern and a heavy rain followed. She whispered a thank you, knowing only the Shepherd would hear her. He had set a resting place for her just in time for the storm.

A deep sleep fell over Miss-Fearful and she awoke to calm and clear sky. She knew it was time to continue her journey. Starting for the summit, she felt the sun beaming down and began a new song:

Those who are planted

In the water by stream

Will not fear and their leaves will stay green

Their not anxious in the year of drought

Bearing much fruit, there is no doubt

So let my roots grow deep

Despite the heat

Keep me planted

By the living stream

Keep me planted

That I may stay green

Time slipped from her, and she was already on level ground. There was a fire burning and she was seemingly abandoned, she felt neither despair nor hope. Only two things remained: a stillness and a desire to do what the Shepherd told her, simply because he asked it of her. She reached toward the flame and anguish pierced every fiber of her being. She reached for her heart and looked and saw that the planted seed had roots growing into every part of her. She knew this was the thing the Shepherd desired for sacrifice. Something akin to fear struck her when she found herself powerless to obey.

An indistinct figure came and Miss-Fearful guessed it to be the same person who threw down the rope. She insisted he help her with what she could not do by herself. So, he bound her hands and feet to an altar, so that he may pull the plant out of her heart. Tearing and pulling began, and a myriad of rootlets came forth.

When finally, the plant of desire was completely eradicated, she repeated the words of Ruth “Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything, but death separates me from you.”

A stillness engulfed her, and she uttered “It is finished.”

Part Two – …But joy comes in the morning

-Hinds’ Feet-

She awoke to myrtle and spice wafting in the air. To her surprise, there was no pain in her chest, and she looked down and saw that the plant of desire had been removed, but now bloomed a huge flower of love, filling the atmosphere with fragrance. The sun broke the dawn and nourished her skin, making her radiant. All the while, little dewdrops preened their plumage in tumultuous gladness. An inner contentment drowned every feeling of loneliness, loss or sorrow. Finding the mustard seed still in her pocket, she ate it and found it to give her more nourishment than any meal.

A loud shout expelled from her with exuberant joy. Alone on the mountaintop, she began to galavant so gracefully and freely, as if her feet had been that of a hind. Coming swiftly to the sound of surrender, the Shepherd greeted her with a new name “Perfected-in-love”. A deep satisfaction filled her veins, and she found peace in his eyes.

He came in the company of two large, elated characters. He introduced them to her as to Joy and Gladness. With no indication, the four of them began to dance and sing in laughter, a language unique to the Kingdom of Love. The trees joined in to dance, bending and buckling to the movement of the breeze.

“With joy and gladness they were led along as they entered the palace of the king.” Psalm 45:15

Little Miss Perfected-in-love, knew at that moment, what the long gruesome journey was for: to teach her the language of love and to liberate her from her fears.

She peered over the rocky cliff and found the sky to be completely clear in order for her to see the city of Self-Sufficiency. Roaring and bustling with busy streets and frantic Fearing family members, Perfected-in-love was overcome with a deep compassion. Oh how she wished that each member could be up here to sing and dance with love in their hearts. Thinking back to the beautiful ballad of self-giving that waters sang, she was prompted to do as she heard it sung.

-Return to the Valley-

From the heights we leap and flow

To the valleys down below.

The Shepherd started to lead her down the mountain. Leaping and bounding down with Joy and Gladness as her companions. This began her call to the lowest place of all…

But this we know- it is happy to go low.