The Call

I’ve been at home for 7 months since returning from the race. Since then, I went backpacking with friends in Canada, drove up the East Coast from Georgia to Maine and visited a friend in England with my sister. But during my time in Colorado, I’ve been working at Brew (a local coffee shop), hanging out with friends, reading lots of books, taking advantage of a kitchen, visiting family, breaking my arm falling off my bike, then getting surgery to fix said broken arm, playing piano with one arm, and overall just being in fellowship and communion with people and the Lord.

Throughout these arrays of events, the Lord has taken me through a journey of exploring the depths of my desires, enabling me by His grace and embracing all that He is for me.

Rekindling Desire

Initially, I was faced with feelings of loneliness when I realized my need for deep relationships. I had one of two options, to wallow in what wasn’t, or to press into what I know is to be. The Lord led me deep into what I longed and hoped for in my life. A space of complete honesty with God was fostered. It didn’t matter if what I felt was considered “right” or “wrong”, I just began to be very raw with God. In that place, I saw the reality of what I wanted. It wasn’t necessarily to have this person or that person in my life. It was to have Him.

When we dive into the object of our desire, we realize that the very thing we’re craving is communion with our creator.

Cosmic Dance

Just as I stepped towards the Lord, even in a very weak and feeble effort to draw near to Him, He showed me where to step next. He graciously takes us one step at a time. Jesus has been leading me in one ubiquitous dance from one moment to the next. This cosmic dance is the very thing sustaining my every move. The more I put my trust in where He is guiding me, the more seamless the movements become. But when I resist His leadership, and insist on my own way, the dance mutates into some sort of wrestle. Though, even in that, I still know He is near.

My moments of broken communion and disobedience from God, are products of unbelief in my heart. For example, the times when I refuse to give time, energy or money to someone is because I believe there’s not an adequate amount. However, as I come to address my lack of faith in God’s provision, I’m faced with the reality that I serve the God who feeds 5,000 from 5 fish. So why withhold giving to God what He alone can multiply?

There have been numerous times where God has built my faith by my obedience. To name one, I felt led to give away my shift drink at work to a very unsuspecting lady. When I followed through in faith that God was going to use my obedience, the lady proceeded to tell me it was her birthday. God just knows better than our human minds can comprehend.

We become more intimately acquainted with His voice, when we spend time with Him and search out His heart. Seek Him and you will find Him!

A life of service to God is simply a response to what we know to be true. It isn’t to obtain His love or get “Christian points” for being a missionary. I serve God and desire to be obedient even unto death because I know Him to be true and to fulfill His promises.

His Promises

A few of the promises I’ve put my trust and hope in are that He works all things together for me, because I love Him! (Romans 8:28) Moving through life, I find that no person, thing or circumstance can be against me when I know that the Father of heaven and earth is FOR me. In addition to the promise of His redemption: He will make all things new (Revelation 21:5). Any loss I face is now considered gain in the kingdom because He restores all things back to His design for good. Also, that He will be glorified, and I will be unified with Him (2 Thessalonians 1:12). His grace will bring forth glory from all things. Lastly, He will give me all that I need in the time that I need it (Matthew 6:25). I don’t need to worry about tomorrow’s need, because as long as He wills me to live, I will be sustained down to the breath in my lungs.

Help my Unbelief

It’s only when I stop believing in His good nature, that I begin to operate from a place of selfish ambition. Trying to store away treasures, thinking that’s the best I’ll get. But relinquishing them back to my faithful Father, I have found freedom to receive an even greater blessing. That is, Christ Himself.

HE IS THE GIFT.

The Christian walk is a daily battle against unbelief in the heart of man. Lord, help my unbelief!

The Embrace

When I realize that He is EVERYTHING I ever need or want, there is freedom to let go of all that I am and all that I have, because the only thing worth having is a relationship with Jesus. The response to His call should lead us to embrace Him and invite Him into our hearts. This isn’t a single act that leads to salvation, this is a daily practice that seeps into the deepest and darkest parts of our lives and invites His spirit to work within, through and for us.

First, we must taste and see that HE IS GOOD.

But how will you ever taste the bread of life, when you are feasting off the temporary satisfactions of this world? I urge you to rid yourself of consuming information from the world and to make space in your life, schedule, and heart to receive all that He is and all that has for you.

Prepare the Way!

This is what has led me to go to the Middle East for the next 5 months. These people have yet to taste and yet to see that the Lord is good. I may face difficulty and more persecution than I have known, but I can confidently rejoice in all circumstances because I have the Holy Spirit living within me and I take comfort in His presence. My protection is in Him, so I can boldly enter into the darkest places knowing the light lives within. I want to align myself with the narrative of heaven and prepare the way for His return. His favor is on these nations, and I want to work alongside Him and pave the ground He will walk on. You will be given eyes to see the purposes He has for you as you too begin to pray and talk with Him.