From Stone to Flesh

CALLED WORTHY

“Why aren’t you being kind to yourself?”

I got asked this out of the blue by a mentor and I just started crying. I didn’t know that’s what I needed to hear, but the Holy Spirit knew. He goes on telling me God wants to give me gifts, but I’ve labeled myself unworthy. Jesus had taken my unworthiness and made me worthy through the cross.

FASTING

The next day after that word from the Lord, I felt called to fast. This was an unfamiliar concept to me. But I found myself seeking God more than ever. Every time I felt the feeling of hunger, I went to the bread of life instead of the physical bread of this world so to speak. I found that when I gave God my stomach, in actuality, He wanted my heart.

SURRENDER

During worship we were prompted to sing God our own song. But I heard so clearly God telling me He didn’t want my words, He wanted my tears. So that was my song of praise. Then later the scripture Ezekiel 36:26 was read: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you: I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” That’s exactly what the Lord was walking me through. Because I wasn’t thinking about giving to my own flesh, I had the eyes to see how I can feed others (in whatever form that may take). The Lord taught me a new found form of surrender, showed me His provision and how to be generous in my time of fasting.

HEALING

Later that week, we go to a rather charismatic church. At first I was a little stand off-ish. After a quite abrasive message, healings began to take place through water baptism. Now I’m sure your skeptical, because I was too. Sometimes, I tend to hyper focus on the lies, that I miss the truth that God wants to tell me. I’m not entirely sure that that’s the purpose of baptism at all, but I’m entirely sure that God used it regardless.

I had told my teammate that God wanted to heal her from vertigo about a week prior. I don’t even know what prompted me to say that because I have a hard time believing in miraculous healing. So I challenged God to show me His  power. Let me tell you… He did. Even after some people didn’t get healed on the outside, I saw God healing them from the inside out. He cares for our heart first and foremost. Then, my teammate did get healed from vertigo! We went to a trampoline park the next day to celebrate and God blew my mind yet again.

OVERCOME

At this point, it’s our last day in Gainesville and I prayed that God would not give me a spirit of hurry but of peace. I didn’t want to get caught in the tasks and busyness of the day. God took that a ran with it. I was listening to worship and was so filled with the joy of the Lord that I couldn’t contain myself. A few hours pass and next thing I know I’m praying over the whole campus. The Lord had control over every part of my being. Then it felt like I got struck by the mighty hand of God and I started laughing and crying all at the same time. This sounds crazy, but that’s because it was. I encountered God like never before and every day I become more in awe of His greatness and goodness. He could just wipe me out in an instant, but instead He calls me His daughter and wants to partner with me to do His mighty work. Like what?!! And He wants the same for you.

PRAYERS

This series of events are all a testament to Gods faithfulness to answer prayers in unimaginable ways. I encourage you to surrender more of yourself to Him and watch what Him make beauty from ashes.